Unlikely Survivors
by Horsetamer5
Summary: Au Achilles and Patroclus survive the battle of Troy, however they are both damaged in different ways.
1. Chapter 1

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

Achilles groaned and opened his eyes._ Where am I?_ he thought. Suddenly, all of the memories concerning the sacking of Troy rushed back to him. _I have to find Patroclus_, he thought, frantically trying to stand. A sudden pain shot through his foot, causing him to groan and fall back. His whole world was filled with pain and he could see black, clouding the edge of his vision. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to fall into blessed unconsciousness.

Patroclus sprinted into the courtyard, stopping dead at the sight in front of him. Two Greek warriors were kneeling over Achilles who was unconscious on the ground. Everyone else was standing in shocked silence.

"NO!" cried Patroclus, moving toward his cousin's body. He felt two strong arms wrap around him. It was Odysseus.

"Let me go!" Patroclus yelled, struggling against the older soldier's hold.

"Patroclus, your cousin is hurt, and you are no help to him in this state. Let the healers do their job."

"How can you say that?!" screamed Patroclus, his voice breaking. "It's your fault that he is like this! We could have been home now if it wasn't for you!"

Finally struggling free of Odysseus' hold, Patroclus ran to his cousin's side and clung tightly to his hand.

"Achilles, please cling to life," he sobbed. "Please hold on because I still need you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

The entirety of the Greek army continued to gaze in a mixture of horrified and reverent silence at the sight before them, a sight nobody in Greece could ever have imagined, even in his or her wildest dreams: Achilles, the golden warrior, the mighty lion of Greece, the greatest warrior in the world... near death.

But how? How could a wound as minor as an arrow to the tendon undo so mighty a warrior? What strange, ominous force was at work here?

They continued to stare, mystified, and among the strangely beautiful stillness of the fire and destruction that rained down around them just outside the temple walls, Patroclus continued to sob and cling tightly to Achilles. How could this have happened? How could his courageous, intelligent, and strong mentor, who he had thought of as invincible his whole life, be dying in a pool of dark blood?

Just a few hours ago, Achilles had been so at peace with himself, his mind and heart clearer than it had been for many days. Since coming to Troy, Achilles had not been himself, until that moment in time where he had appeared so regal and so in control. And Patroclus had never respected him more than he did then.

But now, here he was, an unlikely victim to a war which should have never occurred in the first place, a war he'd had no business fighting in. Anger blossomed inside him again as he whipped his head around and fixed a fiery glare on Odysseus, but he was surprised at the sight that greeted him: the normally mischievous and cheerful Ithacan king gazed at his dying friend, silent tears streaming down his face. He knelt beside Patroclus and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I am so sorry," he said, voice thick with remorse. "You were right - I brought him here. It's my fault!"

Patroclus could only shake his head in silent forgiveness. He knew deep down that it was nobody's fault, not even Helen's. Nobody had forced Achilles to fight in this war, for Achilles was a grown man who made his own life choices, and nobody - not even Zeus himself - could have stopped the glory-obsessed warrior from fighting in the greatest war the world had ever seen.

He turned to Odysseus again and choked out, "Why him? Why did _his_ life have to be sacrificed for glory? Why couldn't the gods just have given him both? He deserved it! I can't lose him now; I just can't!"

He could not lose the man who had loved and protected him for years, not now! He still needed Achilles' love, protection, and life lessons.

...And he especially couldn't lose Achilles after all that had happened in the past week.

After surviving his fight with the Trojan prince, Hector, miraculously unharmed, their relationship had become strained almost to the point beyond repair, and they had not had the chance to make up yet. Right now, it looked like they never would have that chance.

"He'll pull through, Patroclus. He's a warrior through sickness and health. He's Achilles." Odysseus' gentle voice snapped him out of his musings.

As everybody suddenly sprang into action to save their golden hero, Patroclus lifted his tear-filled eyes to Olympus and silently prayed.

"Athena," he appealed to the only deity Achilles truly respected, "please heal your beloved child of war. I still need him. He's all I have left. Be merciful."


	3. Chapter 3

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

Pain. That was the first thing Achilles felt when he awoke from the blessed cocoon of darkness. With every small movement, fiery pain consumed his body and red clouded his vision. Turning his head, he saw that he was no longer on the ground inside the Trojan gates. He was now lying in what looked to be his own tent. A movement in the corner of his vision snapped Achilles out of his thoughts, and when he turned his head, he met his younger cousin's worried gaze.

The minute Patroclus saw his cousin open his eyes, he tried to move into Achilles' arms. Fearing for the older warrior's health, Odysseus tried to hold the boy back.

"Patroclus, you need to be gentle," Odysseus said, trying to calm the nearly-hysterical boy in his arms. "Achilles is still very weak."

"It's all right, Odysseus," Achilles said suddenly, drawing both men's attention.

"Come 'ere, cub," he said gently, drawing Patroclus into his arms and letting the boy sob against his chest.

Sensing that the two men needed time alone, Odysseus stood up and put a hand on Achilles' shoulder before exiting the tent.

For a long time, the two warriors just held each other, both letting their own tears fall. After a while, Patroclus began to calm down and managed to choke out, "I w-was s-so scared, Achilles! I t-thought that y-you w-were going to d-die and l-leave me. P-please d-don't l-leave me."

"Oh, cub!" Achilles cried, drawing the boy even closer, "I would never leave you, I could never do that. I love you so much!"

"I-I'm s-sorry," Patroclus whimpered, his voice shaking, "f-for e-everything."

"Shh," Achilles said, placing a hand on the back of the boy's head. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"Achilles, how did you almost die from your injury?" Patroclus asked in a small voice.

Sighing, Achilles said, "I will explain later, Patroclus. But for now, I think we both need to rest."


	4. Chapter 4

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

The next morning, Patroclus awoke to the sound of birdsong and to the sight of the first bright light of dawn streaming through the tent entrance. He found himself squinting his eyes as he tried to remember where he was and what had happened, and then all the terrible memories of the past few days came rushing back to him like a turbulent river. Achilles!

The disoriented boy shook himself awake as he frantically tried to locate his cousin. A pair of familiar arms wrapping themselves about him stopped his wild struggling, and he found himself, once again, succumbing to wracking sobs as he threw his arms around Achilles' neck and buried his head in his chest.

"Shh, cub, shh," Achilles murmured, as he cradled Patroclus' head against his chest. "Everything's all right. I'm here."

The sound of his cousin's heartbeat soothed Patroclus, and gradually, his weeping subsided, but his grip on Achilles remained tight and desperate.

Achilles gently unclenched Patroclus' hands from his tunic and continued to hold him in his arms as his heart broke for the boy. His poor cub! It was quite obvious that Patroclus was experiencing great trauma – not only from almost losing him, but also from experiencing the horrors of war through the battles he'd been forced to fight in. At least… one of them had been forced upon him.

Achilles suddenly felt sick as bitter remorse overwhelmed him and tears filled his eyes. His little cousin was traumatized, and it was his fault. He'd done this to him...

_Antilochus, Briseis, Eudorus, and Odysseus all sat in Achilles' tent, trying to mediate the conflict occurring between the two cousins. Patroclus and Achilles circled each other like two wolves about to battle to the death. Earlier that day, "Achilles" and the Myrmidons had returned from battle with Hector's Trojan forces. Only… Achilles hadn't led them. Patroclus, taking advantage of his striking resemblance to the legendary warrior, had led the Myrmidons into battle under the guise that he was Achilles. He had meant no harm; he'd only wanted to boost the morale of the Greek army. He'd wanted to save lives!_

_Unfortunately for him, Achilles hadn't seen it that way. Almost immediately, the golden warrior had pounced on him like the lion he was often compared to, and much to everybody's shock, he lifted the boy they all knew he loved more than anything in the world off the ground by his throat, carried him into his tent, and flung him down on his bed. He had then pinned the boy down and growled menacingly in his face, "Wretched boy! After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me! I love you and I always will, but when we get back to Phthia, you'd better find somewhere else to live. You are no longer welcome in my home! If you want to act like a dirty thief, I'll treat you like one!"_

_And now here they all were, trying to resolve this conflict and heal the rift between the two._

_"Achilles, be reasonable!" Odysseus pleaded. "You can't just disown Patroclus."_

_"I do not disown him; otherwise, I would just exile him from Phthia completely. I just don't want him I just don't want him living with me anymore. He acted like a common thief, and there is no room for thieves in my house!"_

_"You don't mean that," Odysseus replied gently. "You're only saying such things in anger. You need to calm down and then talk to Patroclus. Your feelings will be clearer then."_

_"Do not proceed tell me what **I** need to do, Odysseus! He's my charge, and I will deal with him as I deem fit!"_

_"You're only angry at him because you were so worried," Antilochus put in "We all know he means more to you than anything in the world, even your own honor. If he had died…" The young Myrmidon trailed off and shuddered at the thought._

_"Besides, Patroclus' intentions were honorable," Eudorus mused. "Foolish - and maybe even a bit selfish - but honorable nonetheless. All he wanted to do was save lives."_

_Although their points were fair, Achilles remained unswayed. "There was nothing honorable about what he did! He disobeyed me and trampled upon my own honor, and for that -"_

_"You brought it on yourself."_

_Achilles and his four friends turned to gaze at Patroclus as he spoke up for the first time. The boy's eyes were blazing a blue fire as he met Achilles' own fierce gaze._

_"Watch what you say to me, boy," Achilles spoke in a low, dangerous voice as he stalked threateningly towards Patroclus._

_Patroclus just stood his ground and shot back, "For once in your life, just admit you were wrong! There is no excuse for what you did – sacrificing the lives of your countrymen all because you and Agamemnon quarreled like an old married couple? You're pathetic!"_

_"Shut your mouth, boy! You know nothing about the world, so you'd better show me proper respect and back down. Now." Achilles was now face-to-face with Patroclus, his muscles tense. It was frighteningly obvious that he was on the verge of striking the younger warrior._

_Patroclus simply stared at him in silence for awhile, before suddenly – and unexpectedly - he burst into hysterical laughter, much to everybody's shock. What he said next shocked them even more._

_"What are you going to do about it, Golden Boy, hit me? Go ahead!" He had a sickening grin on his face as he taunted Achilles, and his eyes were terrible to behold. There was a terrifying, underlying rage in those blue orbs that had never been there before… and something else. Something deeply unsettling._

_Odysseus knew from years of experience that the young warrior was experiencing post-battle shock and trauma. He knew just by looking into Patroclus' eyes that the boy was on the brink of insanity; otherwise, he wouldn't be speaking so boldly and so hatefully to Achilles. Nobody in their right mind would speak this way to Achilles at any time, kin or not!_

_As Achilles raised his hand to strike his cousin, Odysseus stepped between them and once again attempted to calm each Phthian down._

_Patroclus was not finished, however. "You know what I think, Achilles? I think you're afraid to face Hector in battle. Either that, or you're just a lazy -"_

_Antilochus groaned and buried his head in his hands, not wanting to see Achilles' reaction or what would happen next. "Patroclus, stop! Please back down."_

_"-or maybe it's none of those things. Maybe, just maybe" - his eyes widened in mock-surprise as he laughed maniacally again - "you're in love with Prince Hector. That's it, isn't it? You don't want to fight him, you want to fu -"_

_SMACK!_

_White-hot, uncontrollable, and all-consuming rage filled Achilles at Patroclus' implied insult and slander, and as quickly as a striking adder, he'd pushed Odysseus out of the way before his cousin could say another word and dealt him a stunning blow, a blow that sent him nearly crashing into the wall. A deafening silence reigned, and wordlessly, Achilles tackled Patroclus to the ground again as the boy tried to stand up. Slamming and pinning his cousin down hard, Achilles began to smack him over and over again, and Patroclus, much to their incredulity, still did not back down. Instead, he fought against Achilles as if a demon of the Underworld possessed him. He kicked, clawed, and bit, all the while trying to hit Achilles wherever he could. Wasting no more time, the four "mediators" rushed forward; Briseis and Odysseus seized Achilles and pulled him off Patroclus, while Eudorus and Antilochus held the struggling, hysterical boy in their arms and tried to drag him outside. His dark blue eyes were nearly black with rage, and he screamed at Achilles in a raw, inhuman voice that froze the blood in everybody's veins and would haunt them - especially Achilles - for the rest of their lives._

_After that night, Achilles and Patroclus did not speak to each other. They would just stare at each other tensely; Achilles' eyes were filled with sadness and something akin to remorse, while Patroclus' were filled with hurt, distrust, fear, and hate. A few days before the Fall of Troy, while everybody was building what would become the Trojan Horse, Patroclus had no choice but to approach Achilles after the latter had given Eudorus the order to take the Myrmidons and voyage back home to Phthia._

_"Achilles," the boy greeted dully, his eyes downcast. "What would you like for me to do when we reach home?"_

_A slow, nasty smile crept onto Achilles' face, and he replied in a sickeningly sweet voice, "You're not going anywhere, Patroclus. You'll be accompanying me to Troy."_

_He didn't expect the boy to react the way he did; much to his surprise, Patroclus' head shot up abruptly, his face deathly pale and his eyes frantic and wild with fear as he pleaded with Achilles._

_"No, I can't! I never want see another battle for the rest of my life! Fighting in my first battle showed me I'm not cut out to be a warrior anyways. Please, Achilles - let me go home!"_

_"You wanted to fight so badly before. You wanted a war, and you went out of your way to fight Prince Hector, after all, so if it's fighting you want, it's fighting you shall get, dear boy!"_

_"No, you don't understand! I can't do this; please don't make me do this! I can't see innocent men, women, and children being tortured and killed. I can't see this beautiful and proud city being sacked and pillaged. I just can't!"_

_Odysseus, overhearing their conversation, pleaded with Achilles on Patroclus' behalf._

_"Achilles, he's traumatized! He was not ready for his first battle, and the carnage and horrors he witnessed shocked him enough as it is. Going to Troy with us will destroy him!"_

_But Achilles' anger with Patroclus still clouded his judgment; all he wanted to do was punish the boy and put him in his place. He could not clearly see nor understand what Odysseus was trying to tell him as a result, and so in a cold, detached voice, he addressed his cousin:_

_"My order still stands."_

_Patroclus fell to his knees and let out an eerie wail, and the rest, as they say, is history._

_What have I done? _Achilles cried out in his mind, as he was jolted from the flashback. He glanced down at Patroclus, the tears now falling freely from his eyes_. Oh, my poor boy, what have I done to you?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

As if he could sense exactly what was on his cousin's mind, Patroclus lifted his head to look Achilles in the eyes and say, "I'm so very sorry, Achilles. I know you told me I have nothing to apologize for, but some of the things I said to you were... inexcusable, and it was not my place to behave the way I did."

"Oh, cub, you truly have nothing to be sorry for," Achilles murmured sadly, kissing his forehead. "It is _I_ who am sorry. I should never have struck you, nor should I have spoken to you the way I did. But above all, I should have never forced you to-to..." he trailed off and broke down weeping, much to Patroclus' dismay.

"Achilles, don't..." he pleaded, then threw his arms around him again and stroked his golden hair.

"Forgive me, Patroclus. Please... forgive me!"

"It's all right, Achilles," Patroclus gently reassured him. "I'm alive and you're alive, and we both have our whole lives ahead of us. And of course I forgive you - I already have."

"No, it's not all right, Patroclus, and it will never be all right, but thank you for forgiving me anyways. You're so very good to me; it's more than I deserve."

Wanting to take his mind off his guilt, Patroclus smiled and sat back, still facing Achilles. "Before I burst from curiosity," he said in a lighthearted tone, "how did you...?" he swallowed painfully and could not bring himself to say "die."

Understanding immediately what the boy was trying to ask him, Achilles moved closer to Patroclus and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You already know my mother is a goddess, yes? More specifically, she's the chieftess of the Nereids."

Patroclus nodded.

"And you are familiar with the stories of how she and my father met, and of their marriage?"

Patroclus nodded patiently. "You already told me - Zeus and Poseidon both sought Aunt Thetis' hand in marriage, but a prophecy was revealed that whoever fathered a son by her would be overthrown by his son, so Zeus arranged for her to marry a mortal man, and that man was Uncle Peleus."

Achilles nodded and smiled. "Yes, and when I was born, my parents were overjoyed. My father was proud and excited at the prospect of me becoming one of the most powerful men in the world, but my mother... she was not like the other gods and goddesses. They have and lose children all the time while barely giving it any second thoughts. My mother, on the other hand, felt a love for me that even to this day, I can never comprehend. Since I was her one and only child, she didn't want to lose me. She didn't want me to be mortal."

"So what did she do?" Patroclus asked, barely managing to contain the childlike impatience in his voice.

"On a cold and stormy night, she gained entrance into the Underworld, and with her Nereid sisters as witnesses, she dipped me into the River Styx. The river water made it so that I could never be killed by anything; unfortunately, my mother held me by the ankle, and since the river water didn't reach that area, everything from my tendon down was left vulnerable. Therefore - "

" - if you're wounded in that specific area, you die," Patroclus finished in a small voice.

Achilles smiled sadly and pulled his cousin closer. Patroclus laid his head on his chest and then asked, "So no matter how sick you get, you can't die, even if it's a serious illness?"

Achilles nodded silently.

"And if there's a famine and you're starving, you wouldn't starve to death, no matter what?"

Achilles nodded again.

"And no matter where or how badly you're wounded - as long as it's not close to your heel - you can't die?"

"MmmHmm."

"Well, that's amazing!" Patroclus exclaimed almost joyfully, much to Achilles' surprise. He caught himself and blushed then.

"Sorry, it's not amazing since you almost... well, you know, but at the same time, do you know what this means?!"

Achilles found himself smiling a genuine smile. His cousin's youthful exuberance was contagious, despite the great pain he was in. "What does it mean, cub?"

"It means that you truly are beloved and blessed by the gods! You should have... died," Patroclus murmured, "but you didn't. You're still here. You still have a purpose in this life."

"You're my only reason for living, cub," Achilles whispered, reaching out to lovingly stroke Patroclus' hair. "If nothing else, the gods must have realized how much you still need me."

"I will always need you," Patroclus replied, his voice once again sounding small and vulnerable.

"Well, isn't this just absolutely touching?" Both warriors tensed as they heard Agamemnon's sickeningly sweet and sarcastic voice.

Patroclus lowered his eyes as he saw Agamemnon enter the tent, and he pressed himself closer to Achilles. He hated this man!

Achilles frowned suspiciously as he noticed his cousin's almost fearful response and wrapped a protective arm around Patroclus, while fixing Agamemnon with a cold blue gaze.

"What's the matter, little boy?" Agamemnon crooned at Patroclus in voice like poisoned honey. "Did I interrupt your storytime? That's all it is anyways: a tale for children. Isn't that right, Achilles? You made up some elaborate story to make yourself look less pathetic, while the truth is that you're just a sad excuse for a warrior who couldn't take a flimsy little arrow to the heel! And by Prince Paris, to boot! What did you honestly expect, when all you were focused on was finding your little Trojan w*** like a panting dog searches for a b*** in heat?"

Achilles resolved himself to stony and dignified silence.

"Answer me!"

Patrolcus wrapped his arms around Achilles while fixing Agamemnon with a fierce glare.

"Achilles doesn't lie!"

Agamemnon snorted and shot back, "It's a good thing your precious guardian is a human being, little boy. It's one thing to be a useless and crippled human being, but it's another thing entirely to be... say, a crippled horse or dog. Do you know what they do to horses and dogs in Mycenae that are crippled and can no longer perform their duties? They kill them! They take a freshly-sharpened dagger and stick it right between the animal's eyes; sometimes, they just settle for cutting the heads off entirely."

Patroclus couldn't help himself; he whimpered and buried his head in Achilles' shoulder. Achilles, on his part, clenched his jaw. He was finding it increasingly difficult to stay composed.

"Ah, but I don't think that will be necessary," Agamemnon continued, still looking at Patroclus. "Achilles may just end up dying anyways. They say Prince Paris tips his arrows in snake poison; some say the snake was rabid..."

Patroclus jerked back and began to hyperventilate, a catatonic look in his eyes as images of Achilles' death flashed across his mind.

_That was enough!_ Achilles gently pushed Patroclus off of him and leapt up, ignoring the agonizing pain that gripped him as he did so. Drawing his sword as quick as lightning, he stood in front of Patroclus, pointed the sword at Agamemnon, and spoke in a soft, dangerous voice.

"Leave now, or you will find out just how much of a warrior I still am."

Agamemnon backed up.

Achilles, in turn, smirked and twirled his sword. "A wise decision. I'm sure you remember the little promise I made not that long ago, do you not?"

Agamemnon paled. "Y-you cannot threaten me!"

"I can and I just have, twice now. Leave my sight," he commanded in a bored voice, as though he was Zeus himself and Agamemnon was a mere peasant rather than the "King of Kings."

After Agamemnon left, spluttering, Achilles was at his cousin's side in an instant. The boy was rocking back and forth, his breaths coming in short gasps. Achilles laid his sword aside and wrapped his arms around Patroclus, once again cradling his head to his heart. He covered the boy's head with kisses until he felt those tense muscles relax and his breathing even out.

Achilles smiled and gently pushed Patroclus back so he could hold him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes.

"Listen to me, cub," he began. "I'm not going anywhere, not while I have you to live for. Do not listen to Agamemnon; absolutely nothing he said will happen to me. Besides, I'd dearly love to see somebody try," he laughed bitterly.

Patroclus managed to smile a little in response, and Achilles ruffled his hair before speaking again.

"You must understand, however, that everything will be different now. Quite frankly, I shouldn't have survived, but since I did, I do not know what will happen to me regarding my body chemistry. I may never truly or fully recover, cub, I will not be as strong or as healthy as I was before. I just will not be the same Achilles, physically or mentally."

"But you'll still be a warrior, right?" Patroclus asked.

"I don't know, Patroclus," Achilles sighed and smiled sadly. "I truly do not know."

"Well, it doesn't matter," Patroclus said with a smile, throwing his arms around Achilles. "No matter what happens, we'll always have each other, and that's all that matters to me!"

"Oh, cub," Achilles whispered, holding him close again, "what have I ever done to deserve you?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

Two weeks had passed since the Trojan War and Achilles being wounded. The two warriors were now safely back in Phthia. However, things were far from well for the two men; Achilles was in constant pain from his wound and was kept awake by horrific nightmares. On top of that, he was now dealing with a traumatized and clingy child who couldn't stand to be out of his sight for more than two seconds. In short, it had been a rough two weeks for them both.

-

Achilles sat up, putting his head in his hands. He was so tired, but the pain from his wound and his nightmares kept him awake each night. Try as he might, Achilles would never forget the look of utter pain and betrayal on his cousin's face when he was ordered to accompany Achilles to attack Troy.

_I shouldn't have forced him to go,_ Achilles thought. _I should have seen the signs that he was traumatized. I should_ - Achilles was jerked out of his thoughts by a small scream. Standing up, he moved slowly towards his little cousin's room.

Patroclus lay in his bed, thrashing wildly, clawing at an invisible enemy.

"No! Stop! Don't hurt them!" the seventeen-year-old screamed.

Achilles moved to the boy's side, gently restraining him.

"Shh, cub," he said quietly, "it's all right, you're not in Troy. You're home. You're safe."

"So much fire," Patroclus muttered, still trapped in his dream. "Too much fire. Not safe. Gonna burn."

"No, cub," Achilles said gently, "there's no fire here. You're not gonna burn."

Suddenly, Patroclus' eyes shot open and he scrambled away from his cousin, obviously still half trapped in his nightmare. The young man put his hands up protectively above his head, letting out a pitiful whimper.

"Please don't kill me," Patroclus whimpered, "I can't do it, I just can't!"

"What can't you do, cub?" Achilles asked, gently reaching out and pushing Patroclus' arms down and taking the child into his arms. This seemed to snap the young man out of his delirium and he clung more tightly to Achilles.

"I couldn't kill those people!" Patroclus sobbed. "They were innocent, and they didn't deserve to die!"

_Oh gods,_ Achilles thought, as he drew his cousin closer to his chest and let his own tears fall.

-

Achilles held his cousin well into the night, crying silently and whispering desperate apologies to the boy. Patroclus gripped desperately onto his cousin, begging Achilles not to leave him alone. It was late when both of the warriors finally began to succumb to sleep. Patroclus had cried himself out and was now laying with his head against his cousin's shoulder, trying to make his breathing even out. As both men were falling asleep, Patroclus turned and whispered tiredly, "Thank you, Achilles, I love you."

Achilles leaned down and pressed a kiss to the boy's head. "I love you, too, cub. So very much."


	7. Chapter 7

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

For the first time in a long while, Patroclus awoke feeling fully rested. Above all, he felt safe, and he knew it was only because Achilles had held him last night. In fact, Achilles was still holding him, much to his surprise. When was the last time he'd needed Achilles' company like this? When was the last time Achilles had held him like this, in order to chase away nightmares and other such fears that kept him from sleeping soundly? He couldn't remember, but he honestly didn't care either. He knew he was too old to be comforted like this, but at the moment, he felt every bit like the helpless lion cub he was too often compared to.

And so without another thought, he nuzzled against Achilles' chest very much like an awakening cub while still clinging to him tightly and sighing contentedly. He was in the Lion's arms; nothing could hurt him now!

Achilles, on his part, chuckled softly and kissed the top of Patroclus' head. "Did you sleep well, cub?"

Patroclus nodded with a sleepy smile. "MmmHmm... thanks to you."

Achilles felt his heart melt as he answered, "It's the least I could do."

"I hope you didn't mind," Patroclus said in a small voice, but Achilles himself looked as if he far from "minded;" in fact, it appeared as though he didn't intend to let Patroclus go for the rest of the day.

"Cub," he suddenly whispered, placing another kiss to the boy's forehead, "I know your nightmare is probably the last topic you wish to discuss this morning, but you said something while you were half-asleep that caused me great concern."

Patroclus noticeably tensed. "What was that?"

"You cried out, 'please don't kill me' while I was trying to wake you up. Why was that?"

Patroclus just shook his head frantically. "I-it's nothing, Achilles. I don't want to talk about it!"

"It most certainly is not "nothing," Patroclus," Achilles bit out, frustrated. "Your life was being threatened, and I have a creeping feeling that whoever made the mistake of doing so was not Trojan."

"Please, Achilles!" his cousin begged. "I'll explain later, but right now, it's too early."

Sensing the boy's clear distress, Achilles just sighed and murmured, "All right. It's all right, Patroclus. You don't need to tell me yet, but we're by no means not finished with this discussion." He tightened his hold on the the boy and whispered, "Just rest for now, cub. I'll watch over you."

They stayed like that for a long while, neither wanting to move.

After a while, however, Patroclus reluctantly slid from Achilles' arms and stood up, yawning and stretching. "Did _you_ sleep well, Achilles?"

Achilles smiled sadly. "No, cub. I still feel a lot of pain, and I'm feeling terribly ill due to lack of sleep, so I'm just going to rest today. You should visit Antilochus today while I rest," he suggested gently. "I'm sure he would love to see you again."

"No!" Patroclus protested, shaking his head. "I want to stay with you. I'll take care of you!"

Achilles' heart twisted in pain at the utterly frantic look on his cousin's face. "Oh, cub, I need to rest. I won't go anywhere, I promise. You needn't worry about me; I can certainly still take care of myself! Besides," he added, with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "he can spar with you, unlike me at the moment."

"I know... " Patroclus murmured. He certainly missed sparring with Achilles, and the thought that they may never be able to do so again broke his heart. "I hope you feel better soon. Antilochus is no fun to spar with, especially because I can beat him more than half the time."

"Well, excuse me?" a mock-offended voice sounded in the doorway, and the two warriors turned to see their mutual friend, Antilochus. He stepped forward and wrapped Patroclus in a one-armed embrace, then turned to Achilles.

"Achilles," he greeted in a cold but polite voice, "I hope you are well?"

Achilles silently nodded, feeling stung by this man's chilly greeting. Antilochus had always been such a good and loyal friend to both cousins, but although the young Myrmidon was ten years older than Patroclus and therefore closer in age to Achilles, he had always bonded more with Patroclus in terms of friendship and almost always tended to side with him whenever conflict would occur between the two cousins. When Achilles' "punishment" had resulted in Patroclus becoming badly traumatized, Antilochus vowed that he would never forgive Achilles.

Achilles silently nodded, feeling stung by this man's chilly greeting. Antilochus had always been such a good and loyal friend to both cousins, but although the young Myrmidon was ten years older than Patroclus and therefore closer in age to Achilles, he had always bonded more with Patroclus in terms of friendship and almost always tended to side with him whenever conflict would occur between the two cousins. When Achilles' "punishment" had resulted in Patroclus becoming badly traumatized, Antilochus vowed that he would never forgive Achilles.

"Come on, kid, let's get you some fresh air," he said with a smile, protective arm still wrapped around him.

"Look after him," Achilles said softly, eyes resting on Patroclus as he smiled reassuringly at his charge.

Antilochus' dark hazel eyes blazed. "Of course I'll look after him! We can't have anything happen to Greece's_ youngest_ soldier now, can we?"

His pointed emphasis on the word "youngest" caused Patroclus to wince and Achilles to gasp aloud and place his head in his hands. The younger warrior put a restraining, pleading hand on Antilochus' arm and said, "Please, let's just go. Achilles needs his rest."

With one last dark look at Achilles, the Myrmidons left Achilles to rest.

"Ugh, how can you forgive that man?" Antilochus spat out. "How can you even stand to be in the same room as he?"

"I owe him so much," Patroclus said in a quiet voice. "Of course I forgive him - he's all I have left. He's everything to me... father, brother, mentor, cousin."

"I understand," Antilochus said, "but he was the one who got his war skirt in a twist when it came to you not fighting and protecting your innocence. And then he turns around and makes you fight anyways. Seems a bit hypocritical to me, as well as tragically ironic."

"He wasn't in his right mind at the time," Patroclus pointed out. "He's doing all he can to make up for it now, though; you have no idea just how much he's suffered in these past two weeks, especially from the guilt."

"You weren't in your right mind, either! You were clearly traumatized and just acting out because of it. His Warlordship should've realized that."

"All the same," Patroclus said softly, "he can't forgive himself. He cried more last night than I've ever seen him cry in his life."

"He deserves to feel guilty," Antilochus growled, unsympathetically.

Patroclus was starting to grow impatient. "However much you disagree with him, he's still your leader and you owe him respect!"

Antilochus sighed and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I will always be loyal to and acknowledge your cousin as my leader, Patroclus, but as far as respect goes, he lost all respect I had for him when he ordered you to accompany him to Troy."

Patroclus shook his head frantically. "You don't always have to agree with or respect his decisions, Antilochus, but can you at least try to forgive him - for me?" He couldn't help the tears that suddenly pooled in his eyes.

Antilochus shook his head and said with a dry smile, "You're too compassionate, kid. But I'll certainly try to forgive the Golden Boy, for your sake and not his."

The rest of their outing passed pleasantly, and when Patroclus arrived home, he felt both content and peaceful.

When he entered his home and found Achilles, the golden warrior was sharpening his sword, a cloak wrapped tightly around him as he shivered. Patroclus' heart twisted with pity as he cleared his throat to get his guardian's attention. As soon as Achilles glanced up and laid eyes on Patroclus, he leapt to his feet and rushed forward to embrace the boy. The abrupt movement caused Patroclus to flinch away from Achilles, however. He just couldn't help himself; any abrupt movement caused him to flinch, much against his will.

He caught himself and his heart shattered anew as he saw the hurt expression on Achilles' face. It was obvious the man had been crying all day, and he appeared so disheveled and ill - more so than he had ever appeared him.

"I won't hurt you, cub," Achilles whispered to him, arms dropping to his sides. "I would never hurt you."

_But you did,_ a voice in his head reminded him painfully.

Achilles reached his hand out gently, as if he were trying to soothe a frightened and cornered animal. "Come here, Patroclus. I won't hurt you - not ever again. I'll die first."

This seemed to snap the boy out of his frozen state, and he immediately leapt into Achilles' arms, clinging to him for dear life.

"I'm so sorry, Achilles," he whispered. "I know _you_ won't hurt me, but after what happened in Troy, I just can't help it."

"Oh, cub," Achilles murmured sadly. "Did somebody hurt you in Troy? Does this have anything to do with your dream last night?"

Patroclus nodded wordlessly into his guardian's shoulder. Achilles sat down with his arms still wrapped tightly around the boy. He wasn't going to let him go any time soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

"Who hurt you? Who threatened to kill you?" Achilles could feel the familiar all-consuming rage rise up within him, but he forced himself to choke it down for Patroclus' sake. His cub needed him right now, after all. "First tell me: were they Greek or Trojan?" But deep down, he already knew the answer to that.

Patroclus answered him in a small voice, "A group of Agamemnon's men found me trying to save some of the Trojan women and children. They grabbed me, called me a traitor, and started to beat me. I fought against them, but they wouldn't let go of me. Then, while still holding me down, they grabbed any escaping Trojan they could get their hands on and threw them on top of me – men, women, children, elders. They formed a circle around me and the Trojans they threw my way while chanting, and I just blacked out. I couldn't help it – I was so catatonic and scared that I just lashed out… and killed them! I killed them all, Achilles!"

Achilles, at this point, wept himself, both from great sadness and growing anger. "Oh, cub," he soothed between tears, "it's all right. You didn't want to; you felt forced to, and they tormented you until your mind snapped. Oh, my poor little cub!" He buried his face in Patroclus' hair and sobbed freely.

Patroclus continued to cling to him tightly while sobbing with equal strength. "A-and then, another man came up to me. He just looked at me with this cruel, ugly smirk, and he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me over to where some of his men had Andromache and Astyanax cornered. He told me to kill them or else he would have me killed for treason. I told him and I wouldn't and that he'd have to kill me first, because I would sooner die than kill another innocent woman, and especially a baby. So..." he trailed off then and lowered his eyes, and Achilles brushed a few strands of hair back from his forehead. "Go on, cub," he encouraged softly, squeezing Patroclus' shoulder gently and kissing his forehead. "...he began to beat me," Patroclus continued. "He beat me everywhere he could reach – my head, neck, shoulders, face, chest, stomach... he wouldn't stop, and I thought I was going to die then and there. I could actually feel my vision start to fade and my life start to flash before my eyes."

Achilles' tears now flowed freely from his eyes like a waterfall, and sobs wracked his body for many minutes as he just held the boy in his arms, his grip like a vice. When he calmed down enough to speak, he rasped, "Who or what saved you?"

"Prince Hector. He found us and he killed each and every one of the men keeping his wife and babe prisoner, and the he fought _him_ off me and told him that if he laid hands on me one more time, he'd hack him to pieces. That made him leave."

"That's twice now you owe Hector," Achilles choked out, able to find humor despite the seriousness of his cousin's story. "I think you have a guardian angel, hm?"

Patroclus, too, nodded smiled through his tears. "Yes, I think so, too."

"Who did this to you?" Achilles asked again. White-hot rage began to fill his being and flow through his veins. He wanted nothing more than to find who had done this to Patroclus and kill him in the slowest, bloodiest, and most painful way possible.

"I-I can't tell you," Patroclus whimpered. "You'll kill him."

"Of course I will," Achilles hissed, gripping a spear that had been laying nearby in a white-knuckled grip. "Now tell me who beat you nearly death, Patroclus. One way or another, I'll find out, and when I do…" He snapped his spear in half and tossed it aside.

Patroclus swallowed painfully. "Please, Achilles, I'll tell you, but you have to promise me you won't go insane and kill everybody."

Achilles just shook his head and answered calmly, "No."

"Achilles…" the boy pleaded, but Achilles shook his head again.

"I will promise no such thing. Now please tell me," he prompted through gritted teeth.

"You're going to kill him, aren't you?" Patroclus muttered.

"Yes."

Patroclus sighed and replied in a low, defeated voice, "Agamemnon."


	9. Chapter 9

**Co Written By the lovely Spiritblaze**

**Disclaimer: We Own Nothing**

Surprised that he was able to reign in the blind rage that suddenly overwhelmed him, Achilles stood up and gently pushed Patroclus back, seething.

Patroclus also leapt up and grabbed onto his cousin's arm, trying desperately to stop him.

"Achilles, please don't go!" he begged. "I don't want you to leave me again!"

"Cub, I have to go!" Achilles replied heatedly. "I'll be back soon."

And with that, he grabbed his shield and weapons and headed out to confront the "King of Kings."

-

Achilles stood in the doorway of Agamemnon's throne room, eyes wild, covered in blood, and with black anger practically emanating from him in waves. From the minute he had stepped foot on the shores of Mycenae, he had killed anyone who stood in his way, and now, as he stood before the "King of Kings," his whole body trembled with barely contained rage.

"How dare you!" he growled, stalking menacingly towards Agamemnon, much like a lion going in for the kill. "How dare you beat my cousin? Not only is he my charge, but he is also a child. A child, for gods' sake!"

"You forget, _soldier,_ your army fights under my command. Your men march under me. That boy was a coward. There is no room for cowards in my army. I was merely teaching him a lesson since his guardian was too preoccupied looking for his Trojan -"

Without another word, Achilles growled and lunged towards Agamemnon. He would have killed the man if Odysseus had not restrained him then and there.

"Achilles!" Odysseus shouted. "Think! If you kill Agamemnon, you will be killed as well! And if you die, who will take care of Patroclus?!"

At the mention of his cousin, Achilles reigned in his infamous rage and backed off. Shooting one last icy glare in Agamemnon's direction, he turned to leave.

-

When Achilles finally arrived home at sunrise, he was bruised and bleeding. As he'd made to leave, Agamemnon's guards had attacked him. In any other circumstances, Achilles would have been able to fight them off very easily. However, this time around, his injury complicated matters and given the guards the upper hand. While he had managed to kill them all on pure adrenaline, they had still done a nasty number on him, and he was covered in blood – theirs as well as his own, for once.

As he entered the house, the sounds of conversation coming from Patroclus' room reached him. When Achilles entered the room, he saw Antilochus sitting on the bed with Patroclus on his lap, trying to soothe the distraught teenager. The minute Antilochus saw Achilles, he gently laid Patroclus on the bed, shushing him when the boy whimpered.

When the two warriors were outside the boy's room, Antilochus rounded on Achilles.

"How you could just leave him?!" Antilochus growled. "He was so scared! He has been crying the entire time you have been gone! You should never have gone in the first place, nor should you have sent him to Troy!"

"I realize that," Achilles said quietly.

If Antilochus heard his leader, he didn't acknowledge it.

"He is a child, for gods' sake! You shouldn't have abandoned him in Troy!"

"Stop," Achilles whispered.

But Antilochus stubbornly continued, "You aren't fit to be his guardian! You aren't fit to care for that boy! I hope you never have children of your own, you -"

"Get out of my sight!" Achilles yelled, barely holding back from striking the younger warrior.

Giving a mock salute to his leader, Antilochus turned and strode out of the house.

When he re-entered the room, Achilles saw that Patroclus sat against the wall, looking so forlorn and miserable that Achilles immediately moved to take him in his arms. Patroclus flinched violently, seeing his cousin covered in blood.

Hurt by the boy's resistance, Achilles finally allowed the tears he had been holding back to stream down his face.

Seeing his cousin's distress, Patroclus ran over and threw himself against Achilles' chest, and for a while, the two cousins just held each other until they both calmed down.


	10. Chapter 10

That same night found Achilles, once again, unable to rest peacefully. Fresh pain from his battles earlier in the day coursed through him, leaving even the smallest movements unbearable, and both Antilochus' and Agamemnon's words clawed at his heart, leaving raw, oozing pain in their wake.

As he downed yet another glass of wine and gazed up at the stars, his thoughts swirled and he placed his head in his hands. _Antilochus is right – I don't deserve to have children of my own someday. Patroclus is so much better than me, and he deserves much more than I've ever given him. I did to him what my father did to me – I forced him into war when he wasn't ready; I traumatized that boy. If he becomes anything like me as a result, I'll never forgive myself!_

"Achilles?" His cousin's scared voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts, and he turned to face the young warrior standing in the doorway. "Achilles… what are you doing up? You need to rest, especially after this morning."

Achilles smiled sadly. If only it were that easy…

Without another word, Patroclus closed the door behind him and came outside to sit next to Achilles, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders tightly. Patroclus leaned into the one-armed embrace and murmured, "You know I forgive you, right? I'm not angry at you like Antilochus is. His heart is in the right place, I think, but I don't agree with him at all. You're the best man I know, and I couldn't have asked for a better guardian. I love you so much."

Achilles' felt his throat tighten painfully, and he whispered, "I love you, too, cub. I love you so much more than you could ever imagine, but you're too kind to me, and Antilochus was right in some ways – I shouldn't have left you to fend for yourself in Troy. I should have been by your side every second, protecting you. Most of all, I should never have forced you to go in the first place. Thank you again for being so good to me, but it still doesn't change the fact that what I did was wrong." He lowered his head again.

"No, Achilles! Please don't feel so bad about it anymore. I forgive you! Everybody makes mistakes, but it doesn't make them bad people."

Achilles said nothing further as he lifted Patroclus into his arms and held him tightly for awhile. Patroclus, pleasantly surprised by this sudden gesture, relaxed and laid his head on Achilles' chest, letting the golden warrior's heartbeat soothe him. They gazed quietly at the stars for awhile, before Patroclus suddenly asked, "Achilles, was I a coward for not… doing what Agamemnon wanted me to do? Was I too weak? Did I deserve getting beaten?"

Achilles gasped, honestly shocked by the words that had just come out of his cousin's mouth. "No, cub!" he said vehemently, tightening his hold on the boy. "You deserve only the best life has to offer, not getting almost beaten to death like an animal." Rage threatened to overwhelm him again at the thought. Oh, how he would have loved nothing more than to kill that pig of a king slowly and painfully! But Odysseus was right, as much as he hated to admit it: he couldn't just simply kill Agamemnon, for killing him would only complicate matters and add even more unnecessary conflict to the barely-peaceful Greece. There would be those who supported him, and then there would also be those who called for his blood. Neither he nor Patroclus needed the extra drama right now, so he swallowed his anger and added, "You are not weak, and you are _especially_ not a coward. A true coward would have killed that woman and her babe. By not doing so and trying to protect them, you acted with courage and honor, and I am so proud of you for that."

Patroclus' eyes shone and he smiled brightly, making him seem more like his exuberant and joyful pre-war self, Achilles thought to himself sadly.

"I would have sooner died than kill innocents," Patroclus stated in a solemn voice. "And… I almost did."

Achilles shuddered at the thought and held his cousin even more tightly. Patroclus continued to speak, a distant look creeping into his eyes as he did so.

"I didn't even attempt to fight back against Agamemnon, because, well, I didn't want to. I couldn't bring myself to."

"Why is that, cub?" Achilles whispered, suddenly fearing the answer.

Patroclus sighed deeply before answering his cousin, "I just wanted nothing more than to die with honor in that moment, because something just broke in me seeing all the carnage and human cruelty. I didn't want to live anymore, because I felt I had nothing to live for, except protecting an innocent woman and babe."

"Nothing to live for…?" Achilles spoke sharply now. "You have everything to live for, Patroclus! You're young with your whole life ahead of you. You have so much potential to do good in this world. How can you even say such a thing?!"

Patroclus lowered his eyes and answered in a small voice, "Because I felt like it just wasn't worth living anymore if my cousin – a man who loved me unconditionally for so many years – hated me and didn't want me anymore when we returned home." He cringed as he spoke each word, already knowing how Achilles would react.

His theory proved correct. Achilles jerked back as though he had just been burnt and stared at Patroclus in shell-shocked silence for a few minutes. Then, with a groan, he gripped at his hair as tears streamed down his face and his body shook with silent sobs.

"Achilles, no… don't. It's all right." Patroclus got up and wrapped his arms around Achilles, stroking his hair.

Achilles practically threw his arms around Patroclus and crushed him to his chest. "Stop saying that! It's not all right. I made you think I hated you and wanted to cast you aside. That will never be all right, Patroclus." He pushed Patroclus back gently, took his face in his hands, and stared him in the eyes. "But I want you to know something and you better listen well, all right?" Patroclus nodded and Achilles continued, "Even though I said – and did – some things in anger, I truly did not mean them. And besides, there's *absolutely* nothing you could ever do or say, even to me, that would make me stop loving you." He took the boy in his arms again, and kissed him atop of the head a few times. As he felt the boy start to fall asleep in his arms, he smiled and stroked his hair, whispering, "Everything will turn out all right in the end, cub, you'll see." He continued to speak optimistically about the future. He spoke of sparring again and fighting in great battles side by side. He spoke late into the night while holding the sleeping Patroclus in his arms. He just didn't know who he was trying to convince with these reassurances.


	11. Chapter 11

When Patroclus awoke the next morning, he heard hushed voices coming from his cousin's room. Deciding to investigate, he got up and softly padded to the door of Achilles' room, and as he inched closer, Patroclus realized that Achilles was talking with his mother.

"...But I was amazed that I survived; while I was laying there and feeling my life-force fading, I thought back to your warning about me dying in Troy. I was prepared to die, but now I am relieved that I didn't, for my experience has had severe repercussions on Patroclus."

Patroclus suddenly felt rage consume him. Flinging the door open, he barged into the room, much to both occupants' surprise - especially upon seeing the rage coloring Patroclus' face.

"Patroclus -" a concerned Thetis began to greet in a motherly and tender voice, but the boy cut the goddess off and whipped around to face Achilles.

"How could you?!" he screamed at Achilles, tears filling his eyes spilling down his face. Achilles moved to take the boy into his arms, but Patroclus was having none of it. He struggled violently in his cousin's grip.

"Patroclus, I -" Achilles started, only to have the teen wrench himself from the older man's grip.

"No!" Patroclus screamed, backing away from Achilles. "I hate you!" And with that, Patroclus turned and fled from the house.

When Achilles finally located his cousin, after almost an hour of frantic searching, he found the boy leaning against a very tall rock by the sea, still sobbing as though his heart would break.

Achilles' own heart broke at the sight of his cub in such distress. He slowly and quietly knelt down in front of Patroclus and gently pried his hands away from his face, holding them tightly.

"Patroclus, please... look at me," he pleaded desperately. He already had a nagging suspicion of what was troubling his cousin, and the familiar shame and remorse crushed him. "Patroclus," he tried again, "listen to me, at least."

His cousin's head shot up, and the sheer amount of pain, rage, and sadness in those once-innocent blue eyes made Achilles want to weep as well, but he choked down his own feelings that threatened to overwhelm him, determined to maintain his composure and strength for Patroclus' sake.

Patrolcus yanked his hands back and spat, "Go away. I hate you."

"Oh, cub." Achilles sighed sadly and attempted once again to embrace the boy. Patroclus struggled violently in the embrace until Achilles relinquished his hold, and without warning, he swung at Achilles, fire in his eyes. Fortunately, thanks to his lightning-quick reflexes, Achilles ducked his cousin's attempted blow in time, but the gesture still left him even more shocked and sadder than before.

"Patroclus, I don't understand - why are you so distraught right now?!" Achilles spoke in a desperate voice, while attempting to embrace his cousin again, and once again, his attempts failed.

"Because you don't love me; you never did. You love your own glory more!" Patroclus choked out, tears streaming a path down his face as he inched even further from Achilles. "That's why I'm so upset. Are you satisfied?!"

To say that Achilles was shocked into silence would be a major understatement. When finally he found his voice, it was choking and hoarse with emotion, and he could no longer stop the tears from filling his eyes.

"Cub...oh, cub," he whispered, reflexively reaching out to embrace Patroclus again, but dropping his arms as he realized it would just be in vain again. "How could you ever think that?"

"How could I not?" Patrolcus countered, piercing him with an angry gaze again. "You do!"

"No, never," Achilles replied in a soft, broken voice. "Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing and nobody in this world that I love more than you."

"You're lying!" Patroclus shouted, shaking his head frantically. "Your mother warned you that you would die if you went to fight in Troy, and you went anyways, knowing you'd be leaving me behind, knowing I still needed you..." he trailed off as racking sobs overwhelmed him again.

Achilles froze as his cousin's words pierced him to his very core. How could he have ever even thought of going to Troy, knowing in the back of his mind, his death would lead to Patroclus left orphaned once again, as well as traumatized beyond repair? How could he have been so selfish as to even think that glory was worth the price of his life, a life he himself didn't value, but that meant everything to the boy before him?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I was honestly so consumed by my lust for glory that I just simply lost my mind. I convinced myself that you would be just fine without me, perhaps even better off... but I see now almost too late that it wouldn't have been the case. Oh, cub, all I can say is how deeply sorry I am! I love you more than anything, and I hope you can believe that one day and forgive me. And I promise you that from here on out, you will always come first in my life, and you will always be first on my mind before I make any rash decisions."

Patroclus, in response, flung himself willingly into Achilles' arms and clung to him for dear life. Achilles, feeling fierce joy and love overwhelm him - as well as relief - held the boy tightly in his arms and stroked his hair.

"I love you, and I need you so much!" Patroclus cried out. "I can't believe you thought I would ever be better off without you!"

Achilles only held his cousin more tightly in response and covered his head with kisses. He wasn't going to let go of him any time soon, that was for sure.

"Come now," he said, standing up with one arm still wrapped tightly around his shoulders. "Let's return to my mother. She has missed you greatly and is deeply concerned about you, as I am. Besides," he couldn't help adding jokingly, "goddesses do not like to be kept waiting!"

Two more weeks passed, and nothing changed for the two warriors. Neither could sleep apart from the other, nor did they want to. Patroclus remained as clingy as ever, and Achilles, on top of the pain and trying to adapt to life with his new injury, noticed his physical and emotional health starting to deteriorate. The lack of sleep, combined with the pain and the guilt that plagued him, left him unable to eat regularly, and he found himself losing weight at an alarming pace and with a weaker immune system.

Both continued to suffer from horrific nightmares, especially Patroclus. He dreamt often of losing Achilles, but sometimes, the worst of the nightmares came when he dreamt about the Fall of Troy or almost losing his life to Agamemnon. He would never, ever forget the sensation of almost dying. It would haunt him for the rest of his life. But no matter how much these nightmares left him nearly paralyzed with fear, he made a solemn vow not to share the nightmares about his experience in Troy with Achilles anymore. Maybe it wasn't the best or most intelligent idea, but he didn't care. He hated causing his cousin pain, and he especially hated seeing his cousin weep for him due to guilt, so he simply wouldn't


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks again to my lovely co-author, Spiritblaze**

Patroclus jerked awake from yet another nightmare, chest heaving and tears streaming down his face. Sitting up, he frantically looked around the room, searching for his cousin. When he could not find the older warrior, Patroclus lay back down and began to sob.

_So it wasn't a nightmare,_ Patroclus thought, devastated. _Achilles is really dead, and he is never coming back._

A gentle hand on his shoulder startled Patroclus out of his thoughts, and when he turned, he saw his cousin Achilles, alive and standing over him. After a few moments of paused surprise, Patroclus threw himself against his cousin's chest and began to sob harder.

"Oh, cub," Achilles said, tightening his hold on the boy in his arms. "What's go you so riled up, huh?"

"I d-dreamt t-that you h-had d-died and t-that I was left a-all a-alone," Patroclus cried. "Please don't leave me, Achilles!"

Sighing, Achilles moved so that he was laying atop the bed, the child still held fast in his arms.

"Don't worry Patroclus," he soothed softly, "I'm not going anywhere."

He continued to hold his near-hysterical cousin close, until he lost track of the time, and much to his relief, he felt Patroclus' tense muscles relax and his breathing even out. He'd fallen asleep.

Achilles stroked the boy's hair for a few minutes more; then, ever-so-gently - so as not to wake him - he laid his sleeping cousin aside and kissed his forehead tenderly. "Sleep well, my precious cub," he murmured. As soon as he made to get up off the bed, however, Patroclus whimpered and wrenched himself up, fully awake.

"W-where are you going? Please, don't leave me!" Patroclus begged, becoming increasingly frantic as he saw Achilles preparing himself to leave - for a meeting, it seemed.

"Shh, shh, cub..." Achilles whispered, as he went to Patroclus' side and pulled him protectively into his arms again. "I'm only going to meet with the Myrmidons - I will be neither long nor far. Just go back to sleep, and I'll be back by the time you wake up."

"No... no..." Patroclus shook his head frantically as an alarming, faraway look lit up his features. "Achilles, please, I don't want you to die!"

"Cub, it's all right! I'm just going to be holding a brief meeting, nothing more or less. I'm won't be in any kind of danger, I promise," he frantically tried to reassure, heart shattering at the sight before him: Patroclus was beginning to rock himself back and forth, with that faraway look still lingering in his eyes and his hands gripping desperately at his hair, as if he would tear it out. Achilles blinked back tears and gently unclenched Patroclus' hands from his hair. What had happened to his poor cub? What had happened to his independent (and far from clingy!), exuberant young cousin, so full of joy and life? Would Patroclus ever fully recover from his trauma, or even at all? Such a thought made Achilles want to fall to his knees in a mixture and desperation and hopelessness. But of course, he knew he couldn't do that. He knew he needed to stay strong and somehow aid in Patroclus' recovery. For once, however, fear blended with the familiar grief and remorse regarding Patroclus. War trauma was not uncommon; several of his Myrmidons and he himself, as well as many warriors all over Greece, suffered from it. It was fairly easy to manage, but for a case so severe and for one so young as Patroclus! This boy in his arms meant everything in the world to him, and the dreadful thought of losing him forever to insanity was too much to bear. Worse yet, what if Patroclus chose to cope with his trauma by hiding his inner pain with a cold, bitter front until he became just that: hard, cold, and ruthless to the evils in the world? It had happened to him, after all.

A sudden, sharp pain jolted Achilles from his dark thoughts. Patroclus had tightened his grip on Achilles until the golden warrior began to feel lightheaded due to the circulation in his arms being cut off.

"Don't go," Patroclus sobbed, completely unaware of the physical pain he was unintentionally causing his cousin in his frightened mindset. "Please... you can't go!"

"I have to, cub," Achilles murmured, as he held Patroclus even closer. He knew better than to try struggling free despite the pain and his instincts that screamed at him to get Patroclus off of him. Fortunately for him, an idea quickly formed in his mind.

"Patroclus, would you feel better if you came with me? Would you like that?" He offered Patroclus a small smile. Although Patroclus was a bit still too young for such meetings, it certainly wouldn't hurt for him to be exposed to the politics involved in running a city-state.

For a few minutes, all was silent, and then, Patroclus gave a small nod and slowly loosened his grip.

Achilles sighed with relief and rubbed the circulation back into his arms, while Patroclus shook his head, eyes clearing as he snapped out of his state and returned to reality.

"Achilles, are you all right?" he whispered, frowning as he noticed Achilles rubbing his arms.

Achilles, in turn, hid the slight bruising on his arms from Patroclus' sight and managed to give his cousin a small, reassuring smile.

"Yes, just cold," he lied. "Come now, cub."

As they headed to the meeting, Achilles was relieved that he had come up with this solution, but how long could they continue like this?


End file.
